


Quick, Kiss Me!

by Multi-Fandom-Trash-Heap (TheAssassinLover)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Rey, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Future Angst, Kira has secrets too, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Secrets, Smut, Talk of murder, ben is hiding something, college drama, criminal history, finn and poe are the innocent bystanders, hux and phasma are sick of ben's shit, rey is Kira's problematic best friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6206212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAssassinLover/pseuds/Multi-Fandom-Trash-Heap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kira is a rather anti-social college student who gets dragged to social events by her best friend Rey. At one particular party she gets ditched and meets a guy named Ben. The two of them end up having a lot in common, and Kira begins to enjoy herself. Then she sees her ex. In the spur of the moment decision she kisses Ben. He ends up asking her out, something that shocks his closest friends.<br/>Little does Kira know getting involved with Ben could be one of the worst decisions she's ever made. Ben has a secret about his past, one that could put everyone he loves in danger. A secret involving the name Kylo Ren.</p><p>Kylo Ren x OFC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Am I Here?

Kira did not want to be here. It was bad enough that she had been dragged out when all she wanted to do was curl in bed and watch her favorite show, but now she was stuck at a party with people she didn’t even know. To top it off Rey, the friend who had dragged her here, had vanished. Looking around she spotted a guy who looked like he wanted to be there about as much as she did sitting on a couch.

She slowly made her way over and sat beside him, but left a good distance in the middle. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “You looked like you were having as much fun as I am.” Kira explained. “I’m Kira.”

“Ben.” He replied simply.

“Well Ben, what brings you here?” Kira asked leaning back into the couch. “My friend dragged me here and then ditched me.”

Ben hummed. “Similar reason. My friend is the host. Coming was almost a requirement.” He explained. “Honestly I’d rather be anywhere else. I don’t know half of the people here.”

“Better off than me. I don’t know anyone.” Kira sighed to herself. “If I had any intelligence I would have driven myself. Now I’m stuck here until my friend is ready to go.”

Ben laughed quietly. “I learned the hard way to always drive yourself.” Kira smiled at him.

The two spent the next hour making small talk. It turned out they had similar interests in movies and music. Ben played guitar, Kira liked to write. Little by little they got to know each other. At some point the distance Kira had put between them when she first sat down had grown smaller. “Jeez, where have you been all my life?” Kira said humorously with a grin.

“Apparently waiting at a party neither of us wanted to go to.” Was the response she received. Kira was about to respond when her gaze was drawn to someone behind Ben. Her expression fell. Ben looked at her concerned. “What is it?”

“My ex.” Kira said and suddenly she looked back at Ben. “Quick, kiss me!” She pleaded.

“What?” He asked in shock but suddenly Kira had leaned forward pressing her lips to his. It only took a moment for Ben to respond, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her onto his lap. One of her hands tangled in his hair while the other rested against his chest. His hands dragged down her sides to rest on her hips.

The kiss ended and Kira looked at him turning as red as Hux’s hair. “I’m sorry,” She whispered looking down. “He was an ass. I just wanted to show him I didn’t need him.” Her gaze met Ben’s again, and he looked slightly annoyed now.

“So that was only to get back at him then?” The annoyance turned to anger and he pushed her off of him. “Nice.”

“Wait!” She grabbed his wrist as he went to stand. “I didn’t…that came out wrong.” She took a deep breath. “Yes I wanted to get back at him, but I wouldn’t have kissed you just for that. I…you’re really attractive, and I felt like I needed an excuse.” Her face had turned red again. “I’m sorry.”

Ben sighed. “You don’t need an excuse.” He pried her fingers off of his wrist, but sat down again. “I kissed you back, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” She looked back at him. “You did.” Kira fidgeted nervously. “I’m not used to this.” She admitted. “I’ve had three boyfriends and each of them were jerks. I’m not used to someone like you showing any interest in me.” She laughed humorlessly glancing down. “I probably sound pathetic.”

Ben’s fingers brushed her cheek gently. “You don’t.” He told her. “You deserve someone who cares Kira.” He seemed to hesitate before continuing. “Maybe you’d like to go out sometime?”

Kira was surprised, but blushed again. “I think I’d like that.” She smiled. The two of them exchanged information, and not long after that Kira’s friend came to find her. She said goodbye to Ben, and Kira left with a small smile on her face. Rey noticed.

“Who was that?” Rey’s smile told Kira her friend knew exactly what was going on.

“A friend…possibly more.” Kira replied. Maybe being dragged off to the party wasn’t so bad after all.


	2. Who Was She/He?

Ben had stayed behind to help Phasma clean up along with Hux. “It seemed like you enjoyed yourself for once.” Hux mentioned to him once they were finished. The two were sitting in Phasma’s living room while she grabbed some drinks.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Ben said with a bored tone. “It was the same as always.”

“Tell that to the girl you locked lips with.” Hux responded with a smirk. Ben’s expression gave him away. “So who was she?”

“Someone who was dragged here the same way I was.” Ben responded giving Hux a look. “Her name is Kira. We have a lot in common. I…may have asked her out.”

Hux seemed surprised. “Are you sure she didn’t spike your drink? That’s rather out of character for you.”

“I know. I just felt a connection.” He paused. “That sounds horribly cliché.” Hux just shook his head in response.

Phasma returned with three glasses and a bottle of wine. “Seems that your night was rather interesting.” Phasma mentioned as she poured the drinks. “Get any information out of him Hux?”

“Only that her name is Kira and he apparently asked her out.” Hux responded with a wave of disinterest. In reality he was very interested, but showing that wouldn’t make Ben talk more. “I found it to be out of character.”

“Finally trying to open up to people, Ben?” Phasma asked teasingly. It was well know that Ben was rather socially awkward. His friends poked fun at this often, especially Phasma who was a social butterfly.

“Shut up.” He muttered taking his drink. “It isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Oh but it is. You haven’t made any attempt to go out in years. This is a great improvement.” Phasma took a drink and then looked at him intently. “I’m going to assume you didn’t say anything, mostly because unless you were drunk I’m not sure how that topic would come up.”

Ben’s eyes darkened as he looked at her. “No, I didn’t. Besides, it’s the past.” Despite how calm the words sounded, his true feelings were shown when he drained the glass.

Hux sighed. “Don’t let him get drunk. I’m not dragging him back to the dorms.”

***

“Come on!” Finn and Poe urged at the same time. “Give us details.”

“There aren’t any details to give.” Kira groaned. “I met a guy, he was pretty cool, and he asked me out. That’s it.” She left out the part where she kissed him. The two would over-exaggerate it.

“There has to be more to it than that.” Poe insisted but Kira just shook her head.

“Alright guys, leave her alone.” Rey finally cut in. “The important thing is she seems happy. Whether or not she wants to tell us everything is her business.” The two gave their puppy looks but Rey stood her ground.    

“Fine,” Poe said giving up. “We expect to be informed of any future developments.”

“Go back to your room, idiots.” Kira told them good naturedly. “Stop worrying about my love life and focus on your own.”

“Oh but we do.” Finn said throwing an arm over Poe’s shoulders. “We just like a change of pace every now and then.” They headed for the door. “Bye ladies, see you tomorrow.”

“Bye morons,” Rey grinned at Kira once they were gone. “So what are you hiding?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kira said even as her cheeks gained a pink tinge to them.

“Mhmm, Kira I’ve know you a long time. I can tell you’re hiding something.” Rey crossed her arms. “Spill.”

Kira sighed. “I kissed him, okay?” She muttered embarrassedly.

Rey’s excited grin was contagious and Kira found herself laughing. “So was it good?” This earned her a slap on the arm. “I’m just curious.”

Kira still had a small smile on her face when she answered. “Yeah, it was.”

***

Ben  woke up with a minor hangover the next morning. He hadn’t been drunk enough that he couldn’t make it back to his and Hux’s dorm, but he had definitely not been sober. He rolled over with a groan at the sunlight that poured into the room. “Serves you right.” Hux muttered from his side of the room where he sat on his bed reading a book. “I told you not to drink that much.”

“I should have stayed at Phasma’s. She doesn’t berate me in the morning.” He said tiredly before forcing himself to sit up.

“Someone has to or you’ll keep doing it.” Hux turned a page. “There’s Tylenol in the bottom drawer.” Despite his monotone Hux did care, even if it was only slightly. “Do you plan on contacting that girl?”

Ben took the pain killers and sighed lying back on his bed. “I might.” He replied. “She really did feel different.” Hux hummed in response before returning to his book.

Ben turned to where his phone sat on the nightstand and picked it up. Looking at her contact information he made a decision and tapped the message button.

_Hey._


	3. Are You Busy?

Kira and Rey were getting ready for the day when Kira’s phone went off. _Hey._ Her face immediately went pink. “Ooh, I know what that means. He texted you, didn’t he?” Rey said with a knowing smirk.

“Oh hush.” Kira told her as she responded.

_Hi. What’s up?_

Kira continued to fix her hair and apply what little makeup she wore while awaiting a response. The phone buzzed again.

_Are you busy this afternoon?_

Kira’s blush deepened and she just sort of stared at the phone. “He asked you on a date, didn’t he?” Rey teased.

“I think he might be about to.” Kira forced herself to type the response with a shaky hand. She wasn’t sure why she was reacting this way. It wasn’t like she hadn’t gone on dates before. There were her three asshole boyfriends, and several others that she had gone on just to test waters. For whatever reason, Ben had this weird effect on her. If she believed in soul mates, she might have compared the feeling to that.

_I should be free. Why do you ask?_

There was another pause between messages, and Kira couldn’t help but wonder if he was having the same problem she was. The idea at least made her feel slightly better.

_Would you like to meet at the café on Main Street around 2?_

Kira squeaked. “Rey, he asked me out, what do I do?” She blurted out.

Rey just stared at her friend. “You say yes, duh.”  She said laughing at Kira’s discomfort. “Oh come on, you were pretty quick to lock lips with him. A date should be no problem.”

Kira groaned. “Except that the only reason I had the nerve to kiss him was because I saw Trent.” Rey furrowed her brow and Kira was quick to explain. “The last thing he said to me was I’d be worthless without him. That no one would want me. I wanted to prove him wrong.” She sighed. “Don’t worry, Ben knows.”

“Huh, I think I’m more surprised that you told him that and he still asked you out, than the fact that you kissed him in the first place.” Rey admitted when Kira was finished talking. “You should probably answer him before he thinks you’re not interested by the way.”

Kira’s eyes widened as though she just remembered what they were talking about. “Oh shit.”

_Yeah, that sounds like a plan. :) See you then._

“Did you really just put a smiley emoji?” Rey asked looking over her shoulder.

“Shut up!”

***

“So what did she say?” Hux asked Ben, who wore an oddly blank expression.

“She said yes.” He replied still staring at his phone.

“You seem surprised.” Hux put his book down to look at his roommate and best friend. “You’re worried.”

Ben sighed in response. “I am.”

“He’s gone Ben, it’s been three years.” Hux told him firmly. “If he was going to find us, he would have done it by now.”

“I know that, but it doesn’t erase the fear that I am putting someone innocent in danger.” Ben snapped out. “There’s a reason I’ve kept my distance from people.”

“Eventually you have to move on.” Hux replied. “We all do. Out of the three of us Phasma is the only one who has made any progress in that area.” He sighed. “Go out with Kira, become part of the world again.”

“What about you?” Ben couldn’t help but ask.

Hux shook his head. “I wasn’t very social before everything, not much has changed. For now Phasma’s parties are enough. Maybe I’ll get lucky like you did eventually.” He smiled wearily.

Ben returned the expression. “Sentiment doesn’t suit you Hux. I much prefer your cold demeanor.”

Hux’s usual expression immediately fell back into place. “Idiot.” He said picking his book back up.

“There it is.” Ben said with a smirk.

***

Kira fidgeted nervously as she waited outside the café for Ben. She was early, and kept tugging at the end of the green sundress she had put on. It was one she didn’t wear too often, but Rey insisted looked awesome on her.  When she saw Ben headed her way her hands twitched nervously. “Hi,” She said with a shy smile, pink tingeing her face.

“Hey,” He replied with a slightly more confident expression. He seemed to be amused by her nervousness. “Want to head inside?”

Kira nodded and let him lead her inside. He bought each of them a drink and they sat down at one of the many tables in the café. Kira continued to act nervous despite her best efforts. “You don’t have to be nervous, I don’t bite.” He paused. “I mean, unless you’re into that.”

Kira squeaked out a laugh and turned red. “I’m sorry; I’m not usually this awkward.” She said looking at her drink.

“I know,” He said with a smirk. “You were quite social at Phasma’s party last night. Maybe a little more than social.”

Kira groaned. “That would be brought up.” She hid her face in her hands.

“It’s a hard thing to forget.” He admitted and he reached across the table to move her hands away. “I told you I didn’t mind. Don’t worry about it.”

Kira just nodded. “I’m sorry; it’s just been a while since I’ve really felt like this. Like I said, my last few dates were a bust.” She laughed lightly.

“Stop apologizing.” He said amused. “If it makes you feel better this is the first time I’ve gone out with anyone in a very long time. Like years.” He told her and Kira looked up at him shocked by the words.

“No way,” She blurted and the blushed again. “I mean you’re…are girls blind or something?”

Ben laughed and shook his head. “No, I just didn’t have any real interest before now. I don’t know why, but you made me want to go out again.” His words were staining her cheeks a permanent shade of red. “You’re cute when you blush.” He added with a smirk

“Stop that!” She laughed slapping at his arm. “My face is burning.” Once she had calmed she looked back at him smiling. “You know this is the most I’ve enjoyed myself in a long time.”

“Glad to know I’m not completely boring, though my roommate would say that’s because I’m annoying.” Ben said with a grin.

“Are you a student?” Kira asked curious. “I mean…I don’t know. You seem like you would be done.”

Ben laughed again. “I started late. There were…personal issues.” His expression twitched slightly but Kira didn’t find a need to question it. “Phasma who hosted the party, and my roommate Hux also started late. They’re my best friends, and both older than me.” He explained.

“Ah, that makes sense. I started late too you know. I’m only a freshman.” She made an exasperated movement with her hands. “I don’t even know what I’m going into yet.”

“Don’t feel bad, it took me until the end of my freshman year to know.” He told her comfortingly. “I’m assuming you’re at Corellia Academy.”

“I am. You are as well?” She asked and he nodded. “So close yet so far all this time.” She continued amused. “What year and major are you then?”

“I’m a junior in Engineering Technology. I’m hopefully going to be a technician.” Ben seemed hopeful and that made Kira smile more.

“Well, hopefully I’ll figure out what I’m doing by the end of this year.” Kira said confidently. “At least I’m not alone. One of my friends is also undecided.”

“You’ll figure it out, both of you.” Ben said smiling.

The two finished their drinks and prepared to leave. Since the café was so close to campus and it was still quite nice out they had both walked. They made the walk back to campus together, making small talk. At some point their fingers became intertwined, and Kira couldn’t help but feel surprised at how easy things were with Ben. Finally they reached her dorm and she paused. “This is me.” She said with a small smile.

Ben nodded. “I’m in the other building.” He explained. They stared at each other a moment before Ben spoke again. “So, normally I don’t kiss on the first date, but since we already crossed that line…” He seemed to be asking permission and it made Kira laugh.

She pulled him down and pressed her lips to his briefly. “I had fun Ben.” She said pulling back and smirking at his surprised expression. “See you around?”

Ben couldn’t help but kiss her again. Kira didn’t seem to mind. “Definitely.” He told her. With that they parted and Kira headed back up to her room.

“You two are ridiculously adorable.” Was the first thing she heard entering the room, and it hadn’t come from Rey. Finn was grinning like an idiot, and Poe and Rey wore similar expressions.

“Were you guys watching me?” She asked turning red and the three shrugged.

“I mean, your window does overlook the entrance, and being on the third floor you couldn’t see us. We saw you walk up and couldn’t help ourselves.” Poe explained. “It was Rey’s idea.”

“Oh yes, let’s throw me under the bus. You two don’t live with her.” Rey complained but Kira just ended up laughing.

“I’m in too good of a mood to get mad right now.” She said with a smile.

“I take it your date went well then.” Rey said and Kira nodded. “I mean, it looked like it did.” She grinned.

“Better than I could have hoped.” She looked at the boys. “Make any marriage jokes and I tell the RA about BB-8.”

“Aww, you’re no fun Kira.” Poe pouted. “Besides, you wouldn’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t test it.” They stuck their tongues out at her and she rolled her eyes. “So immature.”

“You love us.” They replied in unison.

“For some reason.” Was her response. The four of them sat around the room and Kira prepared herself to be bombarded with questions. Some things never change.

***

Hux looked up when Ben entered the room. “You look happy." He noted.

Ben grinned at him. “I am, for the first time in a very long time I truly am.” He sat on his bed. “Thanks for making me go through with it.”

Hux gave one of his rare smiles. “You’re welcome.” He went back to what he was doing, which looked like homework. “Now don’t mess it up.”

“I don’t plan to. Trust me.”


	4. Are You Alright?

_The building was shrouded in darkness; cast only the light of the full moon coming in through the windows. A tall figure, a man, stood shaking violently over a smaller figure that was crumpled on the ground, a woman. He stared at the motionless body in disbelief. What had he done?_

_The blood on his hands reflected the moonlight, inky black in the dark and deep red where the moon shined. He was frozen in horror. It had been an order, one he had followed mindlessly, without question, until it was completed. Someone owed them money, and they hadn’t delivered. In retaliation he was told to take out someone close to them._

_It was the first time he had been ordered to kill, but with everything else he had done, how hard could it be? At least that’s what he had thought. Now that he had done it the whole weight of the situation came crashing down on him. He_ killed  _someone. He didn’t rob them, threaten them, any of the usual things, things that they could live through. No, he took their life away. And she had been an innocent bystander, a tool to get back at someone else. It was sick._

_Flashing blue and red lights pulled him out of his trance as he looked out the window. Three cop cars had pulled into the vicinity, likely called by someone who had heard the struggle. Without a second thought he did a quick sweep of the room for any incriminating evidence, and upon finding none slipped out the back, the same way he had come in. He managed to get out of the immediate area before he stopped and broke down._

_He had killed someone, someone innocent. “Fuck,” He choked out, tears running down his face. With complete disregard for the blood on his hands he kneeled down gripping his hair and emptied the contents of his stomach. This was wrong, all of it. Suddenly he couldn’t remember why he had joined this organization in the first place. He wanted out._

_He needed out._

Ben shot straight up in bed panting for air, his body covered in layer of sweat and the sheets soaked around him. He placed hand to his forehead and looked down determined not to get sick. Hux sat up on his side of the room and looked at his friend concerned. “Are you alright?” He asked despite already knowing the answer.

Ben shook his head. “No,” He said swallowing a few times. “It was a nightmare, a memory.” He sighed bringing his knees up and resting his forehead on top of them. “It was the night I decided to leave.”

Hux immediately understood and he got up from his bed heading to the bathroom. He came back with a glass of water, handing it to his friend who took a drink. “You were brainwashed, you know that.” Hux’s voice was quiet.

“It doesn’t take away from the fact that I did it.” Ben set the glass on the bedside table and wrapped his arms around his legs, eyes closed tightly to prevent tears. “I shouldn’t even be here; I should be in prison where I belong.”

Hux sighed and sat beside him. He didn’t make contact but his presence gave Ben a sense of comfort. “Technically we all belong there. We all did horrible things, but we aren’t there, and we aren’t with him anymore. We’ve changed.” Hux looked at Ben who was slowly calming down. “You aren’t a killer, you never were, you were being manipulated and used, and for a time you thought you were doing the right thing.”

“I hurt people Hux, that’s all I’ve ever done. My parents, my friends, total strangers, the list is endless.” He looked up from his knees. “That’s why I shouldn’t involve myself with Kira. I want to, but it’s all but inevitable that I’ll hurt her.” Ben shook his head. “She’ll hate me if she ever finds out.”

“Don’t dwell on things that may never happen. You left that life behind, turned yourself around.” Hux stood from his place beside Ben. “Maybe she will accept that, maybe she’ll never even know. It’s the past as you said. It shouldn’t matter anymore, but it does, and probably always will. It shouldn’t control you though.” Situating himself back in his bed Hux added one last thing. “You did one bad thing that you’re sorry for.” His voice was low but firm. “Just remember Phasma and I have many more reasons to ask forgiveness. We were there longer.”

Ben had no response to that. He knew it was true, and he knew Hux still had nightmares as well. Phasma too. It was a part of their lives they couldn’t seem to escape. Finally, with a sigh, Ben laid back on his side and tried to fall back asleep. It was restless, but thankfully dreamless.

***

“Shit, shit, fuck.” Kira was running back and forth across her and Rey’s dorm room. “Where the hell is my English book!?” She cried out in frustration.

“Whoa, calm down Kira.” Rey said putting her hands up in front of her. “I haven’t seen it, but it has to be here somewhere.”

“I’m already late!” Kira sighed in frustration. “Okay, English book, where was I using it?” She muttered to herself as she knelt to look under her bed. “Aha!” She exclaimed triumphantly upon finding it kicked up against the wall. “Got it!” She went to shove it in her bag. “Are we still meeting Poe and Finn for lunch?”

“As far as I know, but if something changes I’ll let you know.” Rey informed her. “We’re going to meet at the cafeteria by the engineering building.”

“Got it.” She replied quickly. “Okay, gotta run! See you then.” Kira ran out the door and down three flights of steps before making her way out toward campus.

She had just entered the English building and was running around a corner when she smacked into someone. “Ow…” She muttered before realizing what happened. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” She said standing and moving to help the ginger haired man she’d knocked down.

“It’s alright,” He said before really looking at her and pausing. “Kira?”

Kira was thrown off for a moment at hearing her name. “Um…yes? I’m sorry, do I know you?”

He shook his head. “No, but you know my roommate Ben.” He said with a small smile.

Realization crossed her face. “Hux?” She asked and it was his turn to be surprised. He hadn’t expected Ben to mention him.

“That is correct.” He told her. “I hadn’t expected Ben to have mentioned me.”

“He mentioned both you and Phasma actually.” She told him. “He said you guys are his best friends.” Kira glanced at a clock in the hall and let out an alarmed sound. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m late for my English class. That’s why I was running.” She told him

Hux was still trying to register the best friend comment but managed to respond. “I understand. It was nice to meet you Kira, despite the circumstances.”

She nodded. “You too.” With that she took off again trying to make her class.

Hux walked in the other direction to leave the building. He hadn’t realized how close Ben saw him and Phasma, despite the fact that both saw Ben as their closest friend. “Huh.”

***

The Cafeteria was crowded, but Kira found her friends easily enough. “Did you make your class?” Rey asked as she sat down.

“Yeah, after I physically ran into Ben’s roommate.” She replied embarrassed. “Like, ‘hello, I’m dating your roommate and I just knocked you to the ground’.”

“Nice,” Rey said amused while Poe and Finn laughed. Kira blushed. “It’s okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that big of a deal.” Rey assured her.

“Yeah, it could have been worse.” Poe added.

“Technically that can be said about everything.” Kira groaned.

“Well…you’re not wrong.” Finn admitted.

The four of them bought lunch and sat talking as they ate. They mostly just talked about what had happened throughout the day so far, and what classes remained. Finn was done with classes for the day, Poe had two night classes, Rey had one right after lunch, and Kira had another in about two hours.

They had been there for about fifteen minutes when Kira’s gaze was drawn to something behind Poe and Finn. The boys didn’t notice, but Rey did and followed her gaze to see Ben and a blonde woman who was as tall as he was. “That would be Phasma.” Rey informed Kira at her curious face. “She was the party host.”

“I did know that, I just never actually saw her.” Kira Replied. “Damn she’s tall.”

Rey laughed. “Yeah, she is.”

“She must never be able to wear heals.”

“That or she just flaunts her awesomeness.” Finn, who had since turned to look, mentioned.

“Yeah, she could probably rock it.” Poe added. “And that’s coming from me.”

“Sudden appreciation for tall women Poe?” Kira teased.

“Hey, I can appreciate without necessarily desiring. Besides, I have everything I need right here.” He said putting an arm around Finn who blushed.

Kira shook her head. “Dorks.”

She glanced back up and her eyes connected with Ben, who smiled at her. She returned the expression.  After looking at Phasma and saying something the two moved toward their table. Kira looked at Finn and Poe. “Say a word and BB-8 is gone.”

“That threat is getting really old.” Finn told her amused.

Ben and Phasma took the remaining two seats at their table. “Hey,” Kira said to Ben, cursing the blush she could feel forming.

“Hi,” He replied with a small smile. Ben had given a lot of thought to what Hux said, and after also talking with Phasma had decided to just let things run their course. “This is Phasma,” He said motioning to the blonde. “I know she knows Rey, but I don’t believe you or your other friends have met her.”

Kira nodded. “Nice to meet you. This is Finn, Poe, and of course Rey.” She introduced each of her close friends. “They’re essentially my family.” Ben could relate to that.

“Come on now Kira, you’ll make us blush.” Poe told her, but he had a sad smile. It made Ben realize there was probably a story to be had there.

“Nice to meet all of you.” Ben replied and Phasma nodded in agreement.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here since we are by the engineering building.” Kira said smiling.

“Which reminds me, why are you all out here?” Ben asked her curiously. “This is pretty far from the English building, where I heard you literally ran into Hux earlier.”

Kira felt her face turn red. “Oh my god.” She muttered looking down. “I felt so bad.” She could hear her friends laughing at her. “We’re out here because Poe’s an engineering major, and he had the latest class.”

“I’m always happy to meet another engineer.” Phasma said giving Poe a nod of acknowledgement. She pointed at Ben. “This one took the easy way out and did Engineering Technology.” She looked back to Kira. “And don’t worry about Hux; he was more amused than anything.” Kira nodded her thanks for the assurance.

Poe laughed at the technology comment but Finn shook his head. “At least he knows what he’s doing, I’m still undecided.”

“Same here.” Kira said. “But Ben already knew that. Rey knows what she’s doing.”

“Yep, I’m a Criminal Justice major.” She said. Kira figured she imagined it, but it seemed like Phasma and Ben tensed.

“It’s always good when you know where you’re going.” Phasma said. Kira brushed the feeling off at the woman’s calm voice.

“Like I told Kira, you’ll figure it out.” Ben added to Finn. Kira found herself glad everyone was getting along.

“I hope you’re right.” Finn muttered but he smiled.

Ben looked back at Kira. “So, are you busy after this?” He asked her.

Kira fought the blush that threatened to rise this time. “I have a couple hours before my next class.” She told him.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” He asked, becoming amused when she looked flustered.

“You enjoy this.” She muttered. He didn’t deny it. Kira looked to her friends as though asking for permission.

Finn and Poe just raised their eyebrows and Rey gave her a small shove. “Go!” She said with a grin on her face and Kira laughed turning back to Ben and nodding.

***

Ben and Kira walked down to a park that was located near their campus. It was pretty empty since it was the middle of a week day. They walked with their fingers threaded together, and Ben traced her knuckles with his thumb making her smile. They walked about halfway through the park before stopping on a hillside that overlooked a pond, sitting beside each other in the grass.

Kira moved to lean against him and set her head on his shoulder. “I’m starting to get scared by how easy things are when it comes to you.” She said quietly. “It just, I don’t know, fits.”

Ben laughed quietly. “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” He said wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Kira snuggled closer to him and smiled again. He ran his fingers through her hair and she let out a content sound.

“That feels good.” She admitted and he did it again making her purr like a cat. “I’m not a cat.” She laughed.

Ben smiled. “It’s cute.” He told her. “Like you.”

Kira looked up and brought a hand to his cheek. “Well you aren’t bad yourself.” She teased despite her blushing face. Ben put his hand over hers and turned to kiss her palm.

He just held her hand looking down at her, their eyes locked with each other. Finally Kira made the first move, leaning up to kiss him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and intertwined the fingers of their joined hands. Her free arm wrapped around his shoulders and she moved herself closer to him. He pulled back but didn’t move away. “You have class.” He whispered.

Kira pulled him back to her, tangling her hand in his hair. “I can miss one, she doesn’t take attendance anyway.” She responded before kissing him again. He released her hand and placed both of his on her hips, pulling her onto his lap and rolling his hips into hers. Kira moaned against his lips and Ben deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against hers. They broke apart panting and Kira couldn’t help but roll her hips into his again making them groan in unison. Ben’s hands gripped her hips harder, his arousal growing. He took her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled before kissing her again, briefer this time.

“We should stop.” His voice was quiet.

Kira was reluctant to leave his hold but agreed and gave a brief nod, pecking his nose. She laughed at his surprised expression. “Now that’s cute.”

The two stood from their place and started the trek back to campus, their hands once again interlocked with each other. The walk was done in a comfortable silence until Ben got Kira back to her dorm, kissing her once more and bidding goodbye. Kira smiled to herself. Perhaps this time her relationship would actually work out.

 


	5. I Didn't Do It, Okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of past drug use

“You didn’t go to class, did you?” Rey asked Kira with a knowing look. “It’s too early for you to be back.”

Kira blushed and shook her head. “No, I didn’t. It was just my intro class, so it wasn’t that important.” She deposited her bag on the bed and then went to sit beside Rey on hers. “I didn’t want to go.” She admitted quietly. “Though it’s not something I plan to make a habit of.”

“I would hope not, it’s a good way to trash your good record.” Rey said with a slightly disapproving tone. Kira couldn’t blame her. They had both worked their asses off to get where they were, and losing even one scholarship could kick Kira strait out on the street, literally. “I’m assuming you had fun though.” Rey continued with a small smile.

“Yeah, I did.” Kira said with a pink tint to her cheeks. “I… _really_ like Ben.” She fiddled her hands as she spoke. “It never felt like this before, with the others.” Her voice had grown quiet.

“That’s because they were assholes.” Rey said matter-of-factly. “They didn’t deserve you, especially not Trent, not after…”

“Can we please _not_ talk about that? I didn’t do it, it’s over.” Kira sighed. “I wasn’t going to throw away three years of being clean just so he wouldn’t leave me. It would be like punching you and Finn in the face. You went through hell to help me.” She told Rey seriously. “You’re right though, he was an ass.”

Rey was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry.” She said softly.

Kira shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It happened, and nothing is going to change that.” Kira sighed. “It’s in the past. My life is different now, better.” She smiled softly at Rey. “Of course, if it weren’t for you and Finn I don’t know where I would be. In some abandoned house getting high probably, if I was even still alive.” She fell silent. “So thank you, again. I know I always say that, but I mean it. You saved me.”

“You just needed someone to be there for you.” Rey told her. “Finn and I had each other. When we found you, we could tell you just needed help, needed someone’s support. You were never a bad person, and we were all street kids.”

“Just from different groups.” Kira confirmed. “I just wish I had been in your group from the start.”

“You’re in it now. You’re clean, you’re in college, and you aren’t on the street. If you ask me, that last one is a vast improvement for all of us.” Rey couldn’t help but be slightly amused.

Kira laughed too. “Yeah, having a bed is nice. I’m just glad I didn’t fuck up my grades too badly in high school, or I would never have been able to get here.”

“We would have found a way. Finn and I wouldn’t have abandoned you.” Rey wrapped her arms around Kira tightly. “You’re our family, our sister. Don’t ever forget that.”

Kira returned the embrace. “I know, I won’t.” The pulled back and Kira looked at her friend a little awkwardly. “Okay, so new, less depressing subject.”

“What did you and Ben do?”

Kira felt her face heat up. “Not that subject.” She said shaking her head.

“Ooh, now you have to tell me.” Rey said with a smirk.

“No.”

“Kira,” She jumped to tackle her. “Tell me!”

“No,” Kira laughed trying to get away. “I don’t wanna.”

“Kira!” They fell to the ground laughing.

“You’re ridiculous.” Kira told her as she broke free of her grasp.

“Fine, but I will find out.” Rey said determined. “Maybe I’ll try to follow you next time.”

“Don’t you dare.” Kira shook her head amused. “I fucking love you.”

Rey smirked. “Love you too.”

***

Several weeks passed as Kira and Ben continued to get closer. Kira was never happier, and Ben had to agree. Those around them had noticed the change in them both, and were happy for their friends. Both groups were sitting together having lunch when Phasma spoke up.

“So, I was thinking we should all get together at my place this weekend. Just us, some drinking, and hanging out. I feel like we need it before finals get here.” She told the group.

“Sounds like fun.” Rey replied with a smile. “When this weekend?”

“Probably Saturday night, arrive around five.” She said.

“I’m free.” Kira said looking up at Ben.

“I am too.” He smiled at her.

Hux sighed. “I suppose that means I am required to attend as well.”

“Oh don’t sound so down.” Kira tsked.

“We’re free too.” Poe said indicating himself and Finn. “Do you mind if we bring BB-8? I don’t want to leave him alone in the dorm for that long.”

“That’s fine by me.” Phasma agreed. “Alright, I’ll be expecting all of you on Saturday then. Be prepared for drinking games.”

“Oh god,” Kira groaned. “I’m going to die.”

“You’ll be fine.” Rey said with a laugh. “I’ll keep an eye on you.”

“If you say so.” Kira said rolling her eyes.

Ben leaned to whisper in her ear. “You’re probably cute when you’re drunk.” Kira blushed and slapped his arm.

“Stop that!” She hissed. Their friends just laughed.

***

Saturday arrived and the seven of them were seated around Phasma’s table. Kira was seated between Rey and Ben, Phasma between Ben and Hux, and Finn between Rey and Poe. BB-8, Finn and Poe’s orange and white cat, lied between the two’s feet. Shot glasses and bottles of various alcohols were spread around the table. “Okay, so it’s about as generic as it gets, but we’re going to play ‘I Have Never’.” Phasma grinned. “It should be interesting, seeing as we all know each other. I’m guessing everyone knows the rules, but just in case, someone says ‘I have never blank’ and anyone who has done whatever they say has to drink. Got it?” Everyone nodded. “Good.”

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Kira groaned despite her anticipation.

Ben gripped her hand under the table. “It will be fine, don’t worry.” He smiled and Kira returned the expression.

“Okay,” Rey began. “I’ll start. I have never kissed a stranger.” Rey said smugly. Kira and Ben glanced at each other before reaching for their glasses. Phasma also took a shot.

“This is not starting out in my favor.” Kira muttered. “Alright, I have never had sex with a stranger.” Kira worded her question carefully, and Rey looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Kira gave her the ‘shut up’ face. To Kira’s surprise Ben took a shot, but she realized they didn’t know much about each other’s pasts yet. It was probably nothing. Once again, Phasma took a shot also.

“At this rate the only ones getting drunk will be me and Phasma.” Ben said humorously. “I have never hidden an animal in my dorm room.” He said staring at the two men across from him.

“Hey no fair!” Finn exclaimed taking his drink and Poe followed suit.

“There are no rules saying I can’t single people out.” Ben said and Phasma nodded in agreement.

“Okay my turn.” The tall blonde said. “I have never smoked.” Hux sent a glare at the woman and took a drink. Both Kira and Ben did as well. The two looked at each other for a moment, each knowing the other didn’t currently smoke. It was another piece of information to file away.

 “I have never been in an official relationship.” Hux said and Kira, Rey, Finn, and Poe all stared, then looked to Phasma and Ben for confirmation. The two nodded and everyone around the table took a shot.

“You need to get out more.” Kira muttered and Ben laughed.

“I keep trying to tell him that.” He said looking over at his roommate who glared.

“Alright, my turn.” Poe said happily. “I have never had a near death experience.”

Hux, Ben, and Phasma all took shots almost immediately. Kira also took one which made Ben look at her curiously. She just shook her head in a fashion that said ‘another time’. Her hand also found his again and squeezed. Ben could tell she didn’t really want to think about it, probably the same way he would rather forget his.

  “Alright, I have never had a girlfriend.” Finn said with a smirk. Those who had all reached for a shot, Ben, Poe, and…

“Phasma?” Kira asked curiously and the woman shrugged.

“I’ve been around a few times.” Was the only response she gave and Kira just shrugged with a laugh.

“Back to me then.” Rey said happily. “I never…”

***

The game went on, and the more alcohol they consumed, the more sexual the statements became. This put Kira and Rey at an advantage, so by the time the game ended, both were just a little past tipsy, unlike their friends. Finn and Poe stumbled over to the couch and successfully collapsed into a sleeping pile of flesh. BB-8 settled down in front of the couch and curled up in a ball. Rey took the love seat, also falling asleep rather quickly. Phasma managed to make it upstairs to her room where her bed was waiting, and she collapsed, sighing softly. Hux laid claim to the futon in Phasma’s study room, which left the spare bedroom. Kira and Ben managed to stumble their way to it, Kira doing better than Ben.

Ben stumbled and caught himself on Kira, who then nearly tumbled over herself. Luckily, they managed to steady themselves and both laughed. “This was supposed to be my chance to see you drunk, not the other way around.” Ben muttered against her neck.

“I am drunk, just not as drunk as you.” She replied running her fingers through his hair. “Come on.” She lead him over to the bed. They each crawled onto it, and curled up under the covers. Ben wrapped his arms around Kira, holding her body against his, and she cuddled into his hold. Both of them were asleep almost immediately.

When Kira woke up the next day the first thing she noticed was her pounding headache, and the fact that she really had to pee. The next was the warmth engulfing her body. She groaned, cracking her eyes open to be met with Ben’s sleeping face. At first here eyes widened with fear until she realized they were both fully clothed. Okay good, they hadn’t slept together. Kira sighed and tried to carefully untangle herself from Ben’s hold. He groaned quietly, but then simply released his hold and turned over on his other side.

Quietly, she slipped out of the room and headed down the hall to the bathroom. After relieving herself and rinsing her face and mouth with water she headed down to the kitchen. Hux was already seated at the table, a mug of coffee in one hand and his head in the other. “There is coffee in the pot, and pain killers next to it.” He informed her as she came into view.

“Thanks.” Kira grabbed both and then took a seat across from him. “I don’t remember the end of last night.” She moaned putting her head in her hands. “At least I woke up with all my clothes on.” She added quieter but Hux still heard. He looked up with a raised eyebrow but Kira simply shook her head.

Phasma was the next to wake, coming down the stairs and heading into the kitchen. She also took some coffee and pain killers before sitting down beside Hux. “I feel like someone is trying to break my skull from the inside out.” Phasma groaned setting her head on the table.

“Watching you two makes me really glad I didn’t end up drinking as much as you.” Kira told them. “Then again that’s partially your fault.”

“That’s because you and Rey never drank for any of the sexual confessions.” Phasma said leaning across the table towards her. “Rey makes sense, she’s asexual, you on the other hand,” Phasma smirked. “You’re a virgin aren’t you?” Hux glanced over with raised eyebrows, Kira’s earlier statement now making more sense.

Kira felt like her face was on fire, and she knew any chance of denial was futile. Instead she sighed in acceptance. “Don’t tell Ben.” She whispered.

Phasma’s face turned to one of confusion as she stared at the girl. “Why? Not that I would, but he wouldn’t care.”

Kira rubbed her arm. “It’s embarrassing and I…I’ll tell him. Eventually.” A sudden thought crossed her mind. “Wait, if you noticed, you don’t think…”

Phasma shook her head. “I’m more observant than Ben, and I was also less drunk. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you.” As the words left her mouth the subject of their discussion shuffled into the room.

“I am never playing that game again.” Ben groaned heading towards the coffee machine. “My head is trying to explode.”

“Well, you and Hux were the drunkest. It’s not our fault…well, maybe it’s a little our fault.” Phasma said with a smirk. “Although, Rey, Finn, and Poe seem to be the ones who knocked out.”

“They don’t have a high alcohol tolerance.” Kira explained. “And they don’t drink that often.”

“You seem alright.” Ben said kissing her cheek and sitting down beside her. Kira smiled as she blushed and glanced over at him. “I’ve…been around more. It’s a long story.”

Ben was going to question it, but Rey came in, cutting him off. “Good morning.” She said cheerfully and those seated at the table cringed. “Okay, so I’m the only one not hung over then.”

“That would be correct.” Hux confirmed, rubbing his temples. “Please refrain from doing that again.”

“I’ll try.” Rey agreed plopping down in the chair on the other side of Kira. “You’re up early.” She noted and Kira nodded.

“I’m always up early after drinking, you know that.” Kira said nudging her.

“Yeah, but you love sleep, so it always throws me off.” Rey continued and Kira stuck her tongue out at her.

“Do you think we should wake the boys up?” Kira asked and the five looked over at the sleeping heap on the couch. At some point BB-8 had climbed on top of them and was slumbering happily.

“I think they’re alright.” Phasma said and the others nodded in agreement.

“So what do we do until they wake up?” Kira asked turning back to the others.

“I have some board games in the closet.” Phasma suggested.

“Sounds good to me.” Ben agreed.

The five of them spent the next two hours playing board games until they were startled by a thump and a loud meow as Finn rolled off the couch, knocking BB-8 with him. The group laughed as a very dazed Finn looked around trying to figure out what happened. Poe was also awoken and sat up rubbing his eyes. After they figured out what was going on, a few more games were played before everyone prepared to return to their current place of residence, bidding Phasma goodbye.


	6. What Did You Mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did change this over to an OC, it was just easier for me, and seemed like a more popular idea among those I asked. Sorry for any confusion.
> 
> Smut towards the end. Mentions of past drug use.

Kira and Ben were hanging out in Kira’s dorm room. It was the start of a new semester, and Rey had a late class, so the two just wanted to spend some more time together. They were sitting on Kira’s bed, Ben’s back against the wall and her back against his chest. Ben was running his hand through her hair, something that had become a frequent show of affection for him. Kira hummed happily in response.

The two of them sat like that in a comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence. Finally, Ben shifted and wrapped his arms around Kira’s middle, holding her against him. “Hey Kira,” He started and she hummed acknowledgment. “At Phasma’s, you mentioned that you had been around more than Rey, Poe, and Finn. I was…curious as to what you meant.” As the words left his mouth, he immediately felt her tense in his hold. “You don’t have to tell me.” He said quickly.

Kira shook her head. “It…no, it’s fine.” She sighed looking down. “It’s just a long story. I was a street kid.” She started. “My parents died when I was really young, I was in and out of foster care, and would frequently run away. I spent a lot of time on the streets because of this.” Ben’s arms tightened around her and Kira shifted so she could lay her head against his chest. “I ended up in the wrong crowd. I was cold and lost, and stumbled across a group that had members around my age. At first I just needed somewhere to stay, but it ended up almost permanent.” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts and Ben went back to stroking her hair. Kira seemed to relax more at this. “They were not a good group to hang around, they were into all sorts of things, crime, drugs, alcohol, you name it.” Her eyes closed. “It started with drinking, just to help with my stress, then smoking, but it escalated and I ended up in drugs.”

“Kira…” Ben said softly but she just shook her head in a way that said “don’t”. He fell silent and set his head atop hers. She gripped his shirt, still laying against his chest.

“The thing is, since most of our money came from stealing, we didn’t always have a lot. That then leads to bad deals and, well, that can lead to bad situations. Everyone pretty much looked out for their own ass, and you couldn’t count on anyone. I got a bad dose one night and passed out. They thought I was going to die and fled. I woke up hours later in a completely different building, two other people with me. That’s how I met Finn and Rey.”

“Your family…” The meaning of what she said when he had first met her friends finally hit him.

“Yes.” She whispered. “They had stumbled upon me when looking for a place to stay for the night. Finn had freaked out at first, thinking I was dead, but Rey stayed calm enough to check. When they realized I was still breathing, Finn carried me until they found a suitable place to stay.” Kira paused for a moment looking down. Finally she sighed. “I didn’t tell them what happened, just that I had been left by those I was living with. They offered to let me stay with them. It wasn’t until about a month later that Rey caught me getting high. She forced me to quit.” Kira could feel her eyes welling with tears, but fought to keep them back. “The effects of withdrawal were unbearable, and I relapsed four times before Rey managed to get me into a rehab center.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. “I managed to quit successfully after that. Of course, I was put back into foster care after that. I just ended up running again, finding Rey and Finn. I turned eighteen shortly after that and the state lost its hold on me. I’ve been with Finn and Rey ever since. They helped me finish high school, even if it was a year late, and now I’m here.” Kira started shaking as her tears spilled over and she turned to hide her face against his neck. “I’m sorry.”

Ben froze in confusion. “For what?” He asked, tightening his hold to comfort her.

“For not telling you, for hiding it.” She took a shaky breath. “I was afraid. I was afraid it would mess up the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, I was afraid I would lose you.” Kira paused, silent sobs wracking her body. “Trent,” She said finally. “The ex that showed up at Phasma’s, he tried to get me back into drugs, which is why I left him. He called me worthless, said I would be nothing without him. That’s why I was so quick to kiss you.” She wrapped her arms and held him tightly. “So I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Please don’t leave me…”

Ben gaze softened. “Kira, I would never leave you for that.” He rubbed her back comfortingly. “Your strong, you overcame it. You overcame so much. That’s what is important. Besides,” His expression saddened. “You aren’t the only one with a questionable past.” Kira sniffed and pulled back to look at him questioningly.

Ben was about to elaborate when the door opened and Rey walked in. She paused, slowly looked from Ben to Kira’s crying face, and her expression immediately hardened. “What the hell did you do?”

“No, no Rey. It wasn’t Ben.” Kira was quick to defend him. “I…I was telling him, about before.” She said quietly. “Before I met you and Finn.”

Rey’s expression switched to one of surprise, then saddened. “I see.” She said quietly, her eyes then focused on Ben. “You take care of her, or I will personally end your existence.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” He promised her. Kira moved off of Ben and he went to stand. “I should go.” He told Kira.

She leaned in to kiss him briefly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Once Ben was gone Rey turned to Kira. “What made you tell him?” She asked her friend. “You never willingly tell it.”

“He asked about something I said at Phasma’s, and I trust him.” She responded. Her lower lip quivered slightly. “Shit…”

“What is it?” Rey asked concerned.

Kira’s eyes met hers. “I think I love him.”

***

Ben walked into the room he shared with Hux and froze. A pair of green eyes with slit pupils stared at him from his bed, a face of orange fur surrounding the orbs. “Hux!” Ben snapped as his friend exited the bathroom. “What am I looking at?” He asked motioning to the orange cat.

“Millicent.” Hux said nonchalantly, before going over to the ball of fur, picking it up, and sitting on his bed. “I found her, and she took a liking to me. I plan to keep her.”

Ben rubbed his temples. “You’re supposed to be the intelligent one. We can’t keep a cat.” He groaned.

“Finn and Poe seem to be doing alright.” Hux replied and Ben couldn’t help but curse Kira’s friends.

“Fine, but keep her _away_ from my things.” Ben hissed brushing orange hair off his comforter. Shaking his head he sighed. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”

“I am certain she will grow on you.” Hux told him. “Besides, I need someone to talk to when you are with Kira.”

“Right, because you miss me that much.” Ben said sarcastically. “Stop trying to justify it and admit you like the cat.”

Hux just smirked. “I suppose I do. It is odd not having you around though.”

Ben finally sat on his bed, satisfied that most of the hair was gone. “I know, it’s strange for me to have somewhere to go.” Ben smiled to himself. “She makes me feel like I can leave my past behind.”

“I’m glad. Phasma and I have been trying to tell you that for years.” Hux replied, running his fingers over a purring Millicent’s back.

“I know, I’m sorry I never listened.” Ben told him quietly.

Hux shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault. We were all pretty messed up. Besides, out of all of us, you were used the most.”

Ben looked down before muttering a quiet “yeah” in response. They didn’t speak after that.

***

A few weeks later Phasma was just getting out of the shower, wearing a bath robe with a towel wrapped around her wet hair, when she noticed her phone flashing that she had a new message. She walked over and swiped her phone open, before noticing the message was from an unknown sender. Curious, she opened it.

_I know what you did._

Phasma raised an eyebrow, assuming it to be some prank. With all the parties she threw her number was bound to get out eventually. She shook her head at the ridiculousness of the message.

_Who is this? If this was your attempt at a prank it failed horribly._

She set her phone back down and went back to getting ready. After drying her hair and getting dressed she returned to her phone to find another message. Instead of an answer or a pathetic attempt at continuing the prank like she had expected, she found a picture that made her blood run cold.

It was a symbol, a red hexagon with a black, spiked circle in the middle. She immediately called Hux.

***

It didn’t take long for a knock to sound on Phasma’s door. “Let me see it.” Hux said as soon as the door was opened. Phasma handed him the phone, the messages already open on the screen. “Shit…” He muttered upon seeing the image.

“I thought it was a joke, and then they sent that. I have no idea who it is, but they clearly know us.” Phasma told him as they made their way to her living room and sat on the couch.

Hux sighed, handing the phone back to Phasma and putting his face in his hand. “We can’t tell Ben.” He said firmly, and Phasma looked at him concerned.

“Hux, this affects him as much as us. He needs to know.” She argued but he just shook his head.

“He has finally started to move on Phasma. If we show him this he’ll distance himself all over again.” Hux paused, lost in thought. “I do worry though.”

“Kira.” Phasma said in understanding. “She does him good, but if this is real, if they found us, she could be in danger.”

“I know, but until we know for sure, I don’t want to tell Ben. I’m afraid of what it will do to him.” The finality in his tone stopped Phasma from arguing. “Don’t worry; I’ll keep an eye on him. It will be fine.” Hux assured her though he didn’t seem convinced himself.

Phasma sighed in resignation. “I hope you’re right.”

***

Kira and Ben had found themselves in the park once again, but as the sun started to go down the two made their way back to campus. Their hands were locked together and Kira leaned into him. They were about half way there when Kira spoke up. “I don’t want to go back.” She said quietly. “I like spending time with you.”

Ben paused, his steps and turned to face her. He tilted her face to look up at him, his thumb rubbing over her cheekbone. “You could come back with me, if you want.” He said smiling softly.

Kira smiled back. “I think I’d like that.” She replied. With that the two continued on.

***

Kira sent Rey a quick text letting her know she was alive and where she was. Currently, she was sprawled out on Ben’s bed, while he was searching for something in one of his drawers. “Ben,” He looked over at her. “Come cuddle me.” She said with a puppy face.

Ben laughed. “That’s adorable.” He said moving over towards the bed.

“I’m not adorable.” Kira denied his claim, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yes, you are.” He sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over her.

“Not.” She added stubbornly.

Ben leaned forward. “Yes.” He kissed her neck. “You.” Her cheek. “Are.” Finally he caught her lips in a soft kiss that she instantly melted into. Her arms uncrossed so she could caress his face and neck. “And you’re beautiful.” He smirked triumphantly when her cheeks dusted pink.

“Whatever.” She muttered turning her head away from him. He took advantage of her shift and pressed a kiss to the underside of her jaw, making her gasp softly. “You…” She started in mock annoyance, turning back to face him, but then she stopped.

“Me…?” He grinned at her.

Kira sighed. “Come here.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips back down to hers. It was slow but passionate, making each of them gasp and pull the other closer. The kiss deepened as they went, Kira gripping Ben’s shoulders to drag him down to her while his arms went around her back. When Kira pulled back for air, Ben took the opportunity to kiss down her neck, and Kira wrapped her fingers in his hair. Tiny gasps and moans of appreciation escaped her. “What…about Hux?” She managed to get out between breaths.

“Mmm, he’s staying at Phasma’s.” He muttered against her skin. “She needed help with something, I didn’t really ask.” He bit down on the juncture where her neck and shoulder met, and Kira cried out in pleasurable pain. He soothed the mark with his tongue and sucked until there was a visible bruise. The thought of being marked made Kira groan.

Ben kissed down her collarbone and his hands slid down her sides to the hem of her shirt. He slipped his hands underneath so only his fingers touched her bare skin, before stopping. He looked back up at her for permission, and Kira nodded hesitantly. Kissing her softly, Ben slowly began to lift her shirt up, breaking the kiss to pull it over her head.

Kira blushed and watched him anxiously, gauging his expression. He smiled and brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek. “You _are_ beautiful.” He leaned down to kiss her once more, his hands moving to explore the newly exposed skin. Kira moaned against his lips, giving him the chance to wrap her tongue with his. Her hands clawed at his back, making their way down until she could pull at his shirt. Ben pulled back again and allowed the garment to be removed and tossed away.

Kira couldn’t help but admire Ben’s physique. Her fingers traced over his abdomen and he inhaled sharply. “Ben…” She half whispered, half moaned. That’s all it took to make him move again, kissing her firmly and nudging her knees apart so he could settle between them. As the kiss intensified Ben thrust his hips against hers, giving a clear feel of his need for her. Kira broke the kiss to tilt her head back letting out the loudest moan yet. The sound itself was enough to make Ben groan in response. “We’re doing this?” She panted.

“Yeah, I think so.” He leaned and kissed her again. Kira responded eagerly but when his hands slipped back under her to undo her bra clasp she froze. “What is it?” Ben asked, pausing where he was and pulling his hands back.

“If we’re…” She tried, but stopped looking away. “I never…” Finally she sighed and managed to look back at him. “I’m a virgin.” She admitted finally, turning red with embarrassment.

Ben’s mouth almost fell open in surprise, but he caught himself. Instead he leaned back down and kissed her tenderly. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop.” He said quietly, brushing stray strands of hair from her face. Kira hesitated for a moment, but then nodded in affirmation. He kissed her again. “If you want to stop tell me.”

“Okay…” She whispered. Nervousness could be clearly heard in her voice. She allowed Ben to kiss her again. He let the kiss build, starting soft until it reached the intensity of before. Kira took his wrists in her hands and guided his hands back to her bra, giving silent permission. He undid the hook on the first try, surprising her slightly. “You know what you’re doing.” She whispered. “That doesn’t bode well for me.”

“I’ve been around a few times.” He admitted. “You’re doing fine though.” Kira laughed softly but it quickly turned to a gasp when he began to kiss down her chest. Her hand was back in his hair, the other splayed on his back. Her breathing increased as he kissed her breasts, finally taking a nipple into his mouth, his hand massaging the other.

“Ben…” She groaned out, tightening the grip on his hair. He moaned in response, making Kira curious. She pulled on his hair and he pulled back with a gasp.

“Damn it woman.” He looked down at her with lust filled eyes. “Usually it takes a while to find that one.”

Kira smirked. “Maybe it’s just easier for me to read you.” She replied tugging again.

He growled and leaned down to her ear. “If it wasn’t your first time I’d tie you to this bed and make you beg forgiveness.” His lips brushed her ear with each word and Kira’s eyes almost rolled back in her head from the thought, a moan pushing past her lips. He smirked. “You would like that wouldn’t you? Arms and legs restrained, completely at my mercy. I could do whatever I wanted.”

“Oh god, Ben.” She gasped out. The images going through her head made her squirm. “Please.” He chuckled lightly and began kissing down her neck again. Kira wrapped her legs around his hips, thrusting up against him. They moaned together, but he took hold of her thighs, unwrapping her legs. Ben began descending down her body, kissing her breasts and moving down her abdomen. “Ben…?” She gasped out when he kissed her just below her belly button.

“Do you trust me?” He asked taking hold of the button to her jeans. She nodded, eyes blown with pleasure. Ben undid her pants, pulling them down her hips and off onto the floor. Then he began kissing up her legs, sucking on the tender skin of her inner thigh.

“Ah!” Kira’s head tilted back at the unfamiliar sensation. Ben continued up, bypassing where she craved his touch most and kissing her hips instead. Kira was shaking uncontrollably by this point. His thumbs hooked in the waistband of her panties and he pulled them down and off her ankles. Kira was left completely exposed to him, and Ben pulled back to admire the view for a moment, making her blush harder than she already was.

He leaned back down to kiss her hip again, before setting his hands on her thighs to push them apart. Her breathing increased rapidly as he kissed her pelvic bone before finally moving to her core. He licked her slit making her moan loudly. “Shhh, there are neighbors.” He reminded her and she clasped a hand over her mouth as he continued, her muffled moans urging him on. He circled her clit with his tongue and inserted a finger into her.

“Ben!” She gasped out moving her hands to wrap in his hair. She bit her lip trying to keep quiet as he continued to pleasure her, carefully inserting another finger and working to stretch her in preparation.

“You’re so wet.” He muttered and she blushed in response. “And tight.” He was working to insert another finger and Kira winced. He moved to suck on her clit, trying to distract her from the pain. It had the desired effect and she arched her back in pleasure as he stretched her further. He thrust his fingers in her, curling them to hit her pleasure spot. Kira bit her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood, in an attempt to stifle her cries.

Ben’s pace increased as Kira’s hands tightened in his hair and her hips thrust involuntarily. “Ah, Ben!” She cried out as she came undone, body convulsing. Ben continued through her high until she came down. He kissed her belly as she caught her breath. Kira ran her hands through his hair. “That was…amazing.” She panted.

Ben laughed. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, but there’s more to come.” He reminded softly. Kira drew him down to kiss her, tasting herself on his lips. “Ready?”

“As I can be.” She whispered. He kissed her again before leaning back to take his pants off.

He paused suddenly. “Shit,”

“What is it?” Kira asked concerned.

“I don’t have a condom.” He told her. Kira just laughed in response.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m on the pill.” She told him with a smile. “Now where were we?”

Ben shook his head amused before continuing to remove his pants. He positioned himself above her and brushed her hair back. “Ready?” Kira nodded in response and Ben leaned to kiss her, pushing forward as he did so. Kira was braced for pain, but all she felt was a brief pressure and minor discomfort. Ben gave her a moment to adjust to the intrusion before he moved.

The pace he started with was slow, but it gradually built to a quicker rhythm. Ben leaned down to kiss Kira’s neck and he groaned against her skin. “Fuck.” He gasped out, his pace becoming faster.

Kira cried out, back arching her body against his. “Don’t stop.” She begged, nails leaving crescent shaped dents in his back. Ben increased the pace further and the room filled with moans and the sound of skin slapping skin. Kira’s moans became louder, resulting in Ben placing a hand over her mouth. She nipped his palm playfully and he narrowed his eyes at her. Ben was getting close and his thrusts became harder and deeper.

Kira was close as well, and Ben used his free hand to circle her clit with his thumb. After a few more thrusts she came undone beneath him, her scream muffled by his hand and her nails leaving red trails against his back.

He came not long after her, thrusting through his high and biting her shoulder as he released inside her. They lay in a tangle of sweaty limbs, trying to catch their breath. Finally Ben pulled out of her and rolled to lie on his side facing her. He stroked her face and kissed her gently before laying back. She moved to lie on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her.

Kira was drawing random patterns on his chest with her fingers and he was stroking her back when she said something that he hadn’t expected to hear. “I love you.” She whispered and he froze. “I’m not just saying it because we had sex either. I’ve realized for a while, I just didn’t know how to say it, but now seemed as good a time as any.” She sighed. “You don’t have to say it back.”

“Kira…” He looked down to see that she had a look of uncertainty on her face, despite her words. He smiled lightly. “I love you too.” She looked up at him surprised. “I mean it. You’re beautiful, funny, and honestly, you’ve made me feel more alive the last four months than I’ve felt in the past three years.”

Kira smiled, a genuinely happy smile, no an elated smile. “Thank you.” She whispered. “For tonight, for everything.” The two fell asleep that way, wrapped in each other’s arms. They were both perfectly content.


	7. What the Hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I was suffering from writer's block and some personal issues. Updates should pick up again from here. Thank you for your patience.

Kira woke up to a pleasant weight draped over her side. Upon opening her eyes she took in her surroundings, trying to pinpoint exactly where she was. It took another moment for her to remember the prior night’s events, and realize the pleasant weight was Ben’s arm. She tensed in his hold.

As if sensing her sudden change, Ben stirred, opening his eyes slowly and looking at Kira’s tense, blushing form. “Are you okay?” He asked a little anxiously, fearful that she might be regretting what they had done.

As if shaken from a trance, Kira relaxed in his arms. “I-I’m okay.” She sighed out. “I just, it feels like last night was a dream.” She smiled up at him. “Don’t worry, I don’t regret it.” He looked at her in slight shock and Kira laughed softly. “It was written all over your face.” She traced her fingers over his cheek.

Ben put his hand over hers, and pulled it to his mouth, kissing her palm. “I love you.” He told her, using his other hand to brush hair from her face.

She smiled, laying her head back against his chest. “I love you too.” They lay in silence for a while, with Ben running his hand through her hair before speaking again. “We should get up. I’m not sure when Hux will be back.” He smirked down at her. “Besides, I think we could both use a shower.” He added with a suggestive hint in his voice.

“Hmm, I think I can agree with that.” Kira added kissing him.

***

Hux walked into the room he shared with Ben, took note of the clothes scattered on the floor and the sound of running water in the bathroom. It took him less than ten seconds to put together what had happened, especially after catching sight of Kira’s bra lying in the middle of the floor. He placed Millicent down on the ground before readjusting his bag and turning to leave again. He could find something to keep himself occupied for another hour or two.

A while later Ben and Kira made their way out of the bathroom. As Kira came back into the main room she froze, staring at Ben’s Bed. “Um, call me crazy, but I’m certain that cat wasn’t there before.”

Ben looked over at it, deadpanned, and let out a rather loud, “Damn it Hux!” Kira began laughing, holding her stomach as Ben looked at her, face twisted in annoyance.

“Oh come on, she’s cute.” She cooed stroking the cat who purred in response. Ben just groaned at her.

“Don’t encourage that thing. She needs to stay off of my stuff.” He grumbled.

“It’s not that bad. BB-8 has been all over mine and Rey’s room.” Kira told him, continuing to stroke the purring cat.

Ben just groaned.

***

After redressing, Kira kissed Ben briefly and bid goodbye. She headed back to her dorm with a small hope that Rey may have slept late. Kira tried to creep into the dorm, but upon entering she was immediately met with the piercing stare of her best friend. “ _Hey Rey, I’m going back to Ben’s for a little bit. I’ll see you later._ ” She quoted Kira’s text from the prior night. “All night Kira, you were gone all night. A heads up would have been nice.” She said crossing her arms.

“I didn’t exactly expect to be gone all night.” She muttered rubbing her neck. “I’m sorry if I worried you.”

Rey sighed. “I’m just glad you’re alright.” She shook her head. “Next time, let me know okay?”

Kira nodded in agreement. “I would have told you last night but I was…preoccupied.” She muttered, blushing and looking at the floor.

It was only then that Rey truly took a moment to examine her friend. Kira’s hair was still slightly damp, and her clothes from the prior night were crumpled. Rey’s eyes scanned over her face and landed on her neck, where one of the marks Ben had left was just barely visible beneath her shirt collar. “Oh my god.” Rey said suddenly, eyes widening. “You slept with him!”

Kira’s eyes shot back up to Rey. “What makes you think that?” She asked, stumbling over her words and turning even redder.

“You were gone all night, you _clearly_ just showered, your face is redder than I thought possible, there’s a hickey on your shoulder, and most importantly I _know_ you Kira. You definitely had sex.” Rey finished, smirking at Kira’s mortified expression. The embarrassed girl just nodded in admission. “So, how was it?”

“Rey!” Kira exclaimed in shock. “It doesn’t matter, I…why do you care?” Kira sat on her bed looking even redder if that was possible.

“Hey, I can be curious without wanting to do it myself. Besides, it’s fun to watch you fumble.” She said smirking at her friend. “So come on, at least tell me if it was good.”

“Ugh, I hate you!” Kira cried. “Yes, it was. It was fantastic actually. Hell, I always thought it was supposed to hurt.” She looked into Rey’s face. “It didn’t, not a lot anyway.”

“I was just telling what I had heard.” Rey put her hands up in defense. “How was I supposed to know?”

“Fair enough.” Kira sighed. “I, uh, also may have…said the three major words.” Her voice had grown quiet.

Rey looked over, wide eyed and mouth slightly opened. “And? What happened?”

Kira smiled. “He said them back, and I’m fairly certain he meant it.” Her voice was happy, and Rey couldn’t help the smile that came to her face.

“He makes you happy. Good. He better hope it stays that way.” Rey replied. An unspoken threat laced her words.

Kira laughed lightly. “Thanks for having my back Rey.”

Rey nodded her head. “Always.”

***

Hux returned to the dorms about an hour after Kira had left. He opened the door to find Millicent curled up on his bed, and Ben doing homework. “I take it you enjoyed your night.” Hux said knowingly. Ben glanced up to glare at his friend. “I am just glad the two of you were in the shower when I showed up the first time.” A smirk crossed his face.

“Yeah, well, I _wasn’t_ too pleased to find you damn cat on my bed again.” Ben told him. “I’m serious Hux, keep her away from my stuff. There’s orange fur everywhere.” He sighed and shook his head. “Kira likes her though. She thought she was cute.” He scowled.

Hux laughed and raised his eyebrow. “Are you truly jealous of a cat? I have seen the way she looks at you Ben, you have nothing to fear. Especially from a cat.”

Ben looked down and Hux was shocked to see his cheeks tinted pink “Yeah, I know.” Ben muttered his reply. When Kira had uttered those three words, Ben had been shocked. Despite everything, the idea that anyone could care that deeply for him had escaped his mind. He doubted that even his own mother still cared that much given the things he had done. When he returned the words, the force of their truth hit him hard.

Kira loved him, and he loved her. The fact that she still knew next to nothing of his past didn’t escape him though. Eventually she would ask, and he would have to tell her. He knew there was nothing that could prepare him for that moment. He was still certain she would leave him.

Hux seemed to sense the shift in his friend’s mood and let the conversation drop, changing the subject. “I am going to meet one of my classmates. She needed a French tutor.” Hux informed Ben as he gathered the needed materials. “Do try to keep an eye on Millicent.”

Ben was surprised. “You’re actually going out, and with someone? Hux, I’m shocked.” He said mockingly.

Hux sighed, annoyed by the response. “It is a study session Ben. Do _not_ get any ideas. I will be back later.”

“Yes, _just_ studying.” Ben smirked at Hux. “That’s how it always starts. Besides, I’ve never known you to voluntarily help someone.”

If Ben didn’t know better he may have said Hux blushed. “Perhaps, I feel some form of attraction towards her.” Hux admitted. “I would not get too hopeful though.”

Ben’s smirk turned to a grin. “Good luck Hux.”

Hux just scoffed before leaving the dorm.

***

Hux arrived at the library to meet Crystala, the woman from his French Three. Normally Hux wouldn’t take any notice, but Crystala was an interesting girl. At least, she was to Hux. When she asked for help with French, he was slightly surprised, as she didn’t show the same signs of struggling that his other classmates did. That is, she didn’t constantly complain about the professor and assignments.

Perhaps that was why Hux liked her. She didn’t replicate the annoyances he faced every day. In fact, she often times seemed to be just as bothered by them as he was. It was because of this that Hux had agreed to help her.

He found her sitting at one of the tables in the back of the room. When he approached she looked up and gave him a smile and a small “hi”.

Hux gave a small nod. “Hello.” He took one of the seats across from her and began to pull his books from his bag.

“Thank you so much for agreeing to help me.” She said sorting through her belongings to find what was needed. “Normally I wouldn’t ask, but I really need it.”

“It is not a problem.” Hux replied. “What is it you are struggling with?”

“Mostly verb tenses. Some sentence structure. It’s not so much remembering the words as remembering when to use them.” She explained. Hux nodded in understanding.

Three hours and several practice assignments later, Crystala had improved greatly and the two were ready to part ways. “Thank you again for meeting me.” Crystala said as they made their way down the stairs out front. “Can I call you?” Her face flushed. “I-in case I have questions” she hastily added.

Hux hesitated for a moment, before he agreed. Even if this was just a friendly exchange, he was starting to understand Ben’s caution, especially given the message Phasma had received. “Of course.” They exchanged phones to input information. “I’m happy to help with anything you need.” Hux said as he handed her phone back and Crystala nodded.

“Goodnight Hux.” She said breaking off to go to her car. “See you in class.”

“Goodnight.” He replied. Hux made his way back to the dorm on foot. He was about half way there when his phone buzzed. He took it out and glanced at the screen.

_I must admit, she is rather pretty. Though I can see how cautious you are._

Hux’s brow furrowed in confusion before another message came in.

_Studying at the library. You three truly have tried to live out normal lives._

His blood ran cold. Deciding against giving them a response, he continued on towards the dorm, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. When the phone buzzed again he didn’t even look. Hux refused to let them intimidate him.

He was less than three minutes away. The phone went off three more times after that before he caved and looked.

_Each of you has tried to move on. Phasma’s living on her own, you and Ben living together, all of you attending school._

_Did you truly believe you could get away?_

_You’re all trying so hard to run from it, but I think Kylo, or Ben as you’ve been calling him, made the most progress._

Hux’s teeth clenched, his free hand balled into a fist. He could not believe this was happening, didn’t want to believe it. He looked down to the last message and froze, his entire body going numb.

_It would be a shame if something happened to that girl he’s been keeping around._

“Shit.” Hux muttered. If they knew about Kira, if she was in danger…

He had no choice. He had to tell Ben.

***

Kira and Rey were both in their dorm studying when Kira’s phone went off.

_It looks like your life is finally going in the right direction. It’s too bad it won’t last._

“What the hell?” Kira muttered looking at her phone. It went off again.

_Got clean, went to college, you even have a decent boyfriend._

Kira was both freaked out and annoyed by this point. She quickly typed a reply.

_Who the fuck is this?_

The response only further infuriated her.

_No one you need to concern yourself with._

Kira grit her teeth.

_If this is a joke it’s far from humorous._

The blood drained from her face with the next message.

_Just go back to studying Kira._

Kira swallowed but decided that was an easy thing to guess. She decided to try and throw them off.

_Joke’s on you. I’m not studying._

She smirked, thinking that would be the end of it. A response came.

_Yes, you are. You’re on your bed, legs crossed with a history book open. Your roommate is at the desk across the room._

Kira’s face fell and she felt her heart stop. Immediately she shot up to close the curtain on the window, her text book clattering to the ground without care. She held the curtains closed, now shaking and near tears.

Rey spun around in her seat. “Kira, what’s wrong?” She asked alarmed by Kira’s sudden movement.

“Someone’s watching me.” She whispered, a wave of fear induced nausea coming over her. “Look.” Kira gave Rey her phone. She watched as Rey’s expression moved from confusion to alarm and then anger.

“ _No one_ fucks with my friends and gets away with it.” She hissed before turning back to Kira. Rey wrapped her arms tightly around her. “Don’t worry. We’ll find out who’s messing with you. It’s probably just some dick trying to freak you out.”

Kira sniffed. “I hope you’re right.” She muttered. “But I don’t think I want to be left alone for a while.”

Rey nodded her understanding. “There are enough of us Kira. You’re never alone.”


	8. Will You Come With?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking hell this took forever. Ugh, and I had said updates would return to normal. My apologies, life is everywhere at the moment. Anyway, here’s the next chapter. It's a little short but I hope you enjoy. The next one will be longer, I promise.

Ben left early the next morning to meet Kira. Hux woke up at the same time, but decided to refrain from telling him what was going on until after he got back. The last thing Hux wanted to do was upset Ben before he went to meet Kira.

Ben was nervous for two reasons. One, he had made a phone call the night before while Hux was gone, an emotional, heart wrenching phone call with his mother. He hadn’t spoken to her in a very long time, and hadn’t seen her in years. However, as things progressed with Kira he found himself wanting to reconnect with her, to try and repair their damaged relationship. He was seeing the importance of family again.

The other reason he was nervous was that he wanted to take Kira with him when he went to see his mother. While it would be an emotional reunion he didn’t wish to go alone. He also wanted Leia to meet Kira, the girl who had finally begun to turn his life around. The issue was, knew he would have to disclose some of his past to Kira before this. His mother was aware of some things he had done. She knew of his involvement with Snoke, of the crimes. She didn’t know the full extent of it however, and for that he was grateful.

So Ben made his way to meet Kira, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. He hoped she could accept him, would understand that he knew how wrong he had been. That he had made terrible mistakes. If she didn’t though, he would understand that too.

***

Kira waited for Ben, a little anxious. It was a bit ridiculous she knew. It was broad daylight and she was right outside the dorm, but still. She tried to act normal however, because after much thought and a short discussion with Rey she had opted to not tell Ben about the creepy text messages. It was probably nothing, and she didn’t want to cause him undue worry.

It didn’t take long for Kira to see Ben’s familiar figure walking up the sidewalk and she smiled brightly, genuinely happy to see him. Ben smiled back, though it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. Kira could see that he was tense, and it made her feel nervous. “Hi.” She said softly once he reached her.

“Hey.” He set a hand on her face and stroked her cheekbone with his thumb before leaning to kiss her softly. When he pulled back he seemed a little sad. “I have to tell you something.”

Kira was feeling really nervous now. “What is it?” She asked, hoping the waver in her voice went unnoticed. Her mind was running through all the places this conversation could go, and none of them were good. Ben simply motioned for her to come with him and she followed. The two walked in silence, Kira wondering where they were going. Ben led her through the park and a little way into the woods where a small clearing was. Kira looked around in awe.

The sun shown down through the break in the trees, illuminating the field in glowing golden light. There were bundles of wild flowers in white, pink, and blue hues scattered around the entirety of the area. “I come here to clear my head sometimes.” Ben told her, breaking the trance-like state she had fallen in. He moved to take a seat in the meadow’s center.

“It’s beautiful.” Kira whispered, sitting down beside him. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” The two fell into a short but comfortable silence. Finally, Kira broke it. “What is it you needed to tell me?” She asked glancing down nervously.

Ben sighed and glanced over to her. He reached for her hand, taking it in his own. “Do you remember how I said you weren’t the only one with a questionable past?” He asked running his thumb over her knuckles. Kira did and told him as much. “I didn’t have the greatest relationship with my parents growing up. They would fight and I would sometimes get caught up in it. I was closest to my mother, but even with her things were hard. When I was fifteen things were getting particularly heated between my parents, and I ran away.” Ben’s grip on Kira’s hand tightened, and he took a deep breath. Kira waited patiently for Ben to continue, her other hand moving to rest on his arm. The familiarity of the story did not escape her.

“I met some people, some terrible people, and I ended up involved with a group I wish I had never gone near.” He shook his head. “They were into all manner of crime. Things like theft, cons, and drug deals.” Kira flinched involuntarily and Ben glanced at her.

“I’m Sorry.” She whispered. “It reminds me…” Her voice trailed off.

“It’s alright.” He assured her. “I know leaving the past can be hard.” If only he could say just how hard it was. Kira nodded in agreement and motioned for him to continue. “Those were the lesser crimes. Some things were much worse. Threats, kidnappings, hostages…occasionally murder, none of these were uncommon.” Kira tensed up, her heart beating in her ears. She continued to listen however, determined to hear Ben out. “I stayed with them for a little over a week before I decided to go home, but I was given an open invitation to come back. I unfortunately, stupidly, accepted that invitation. Things at home had only gotten worse in my absence, and there had been those in that group who understood my struggles and complaints. So, less than three months later I left home again.” He paused and Kira could see that telling this was making him uneasy. Despite the anxiety she was currently feeling, she leaned into him in a comforting way. He seemed to relax slightly and continued. “I rejoined them, became an active member of them, and from then on they were, for the most part, my home. I returned to my family periodically, just to test waters. My mom was worried, and would beg me to stay. She knew I wasn’t in good company, and she was afraid I was going to end up in jail. By some miracle I didn’t, but I know I deserved to. I did things while I was with them that I greatly regret, and if I could take them all back I would.”

From the sound of his voice Kira had no doubt he was fighting back tears. By this point she was as well. It was a lot to take in. “I went home again for a while when I was seventeen, only to find out my father was sick.” Another short pause occurred.  “My parents weren’t fighting anymore, probably bonding over their fear for me, and things were just…quiet. My father died a few months later, and in my grief, I vanished again.” Ben took a shaky breath. “We weren’t close, but I still felt terrible about it. It made me wish I had done something more to get along with him.

“So I returned to my life of crime, and I stayed there for years. It wasn’t until I was twenty-one that I finally left. I had enough, was sick with myself and the people I called my friends. I wasn’t alone in leaving; two of my closest friends came with me.”

Something clicked in Kira’s mind at this. “Hux and Phasma.” She breathed.

Ben nodded. “Yes. We were all wrapped up in that horrible web, and it took longer than any of us would have liked to break free. I did things I never should have, and I’m sorry for all of them. More sorry than I can ever say.” Silence fell over Ben and Kira after that, both of them mulling over their thoughts. “You deserved to know about my past. About whom you had involved yourself with.”

“This…is a lot to take in.” Kira said quietly, her breaths shaky. “I don’t know what to think.” She bit her lip.

“If…if you want to leave, I’ll understand.” He told her, a slight quiver in his voice.

Kira looked up at him and saw a few tears had spilled over. “Ben…” She sighed, adjusting herself so she was sat in front of him. She reached up and brushed the tears from his face, releasing the hand she’d been holding for the duration of his story. “It’s a lot to take in, but I think it’s something I can accept.” She smiled slightly. “It’s the past Ben, you’ve moved on, become a better person. You accepted my baggage, and I can accept yours. You told me about it, and I can tell that you truly are sorry.” She embraced him tightly. “I’m sorry about your dad.” She added at the end.

Ben ran his hand through Kira’s hair. “It was a while ago. I’ll always regret my decisions, but I’ve been able to move on. Although lately, I’ve realized I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.” He pulled back from Kira’s hold to look down at her. “I called my mom for the first time in years last night. I want to go see her.” He glanced to the side a moment before his gaze returned to Kira’s. “I want you to come with me, if you’re willing.”

Kira’s expression blanked for a moment. “Why?” She asked with surprise evident in her voice.

“You’re the reason I got up the courage to contact her at all. You’re changing my life Kira, all for the better. You make things easier.” He cupped Kira’s face and she leaned into him. “I want her to meet you, to see who it was that finally brought me back.”

Kira was crying now, the weight of his words hitting her hard. “Alright.” She choked out. “I’ll go with.” Her hand set over his as she stared at him, before the words she was thinking spilled from her mouth. “I love you, Ben. I really do.”

Ben leaned down to kiss her. It was slightly wet given they tears, but their lips molded together in a way unlike ever before. It went from gentle to passionate, all of their emotions being poured into this one action. Kira broke the kiss gasping, barely able to handle the fierce sensations flowing through her. “I love you too.” Ben panted while moving hair from her face.

Kira wrapped herself around him, her face buried in the crook of his neck as he held her. They stayed like that for a while, sitting in the quiet of the clearing, only the sounds of the creatures in the forest to be heard. Finally as the sun began to fall into the late afternoon they rose to return to their dorms. Ben told Kira he was going to visit his mother that weekend, and she confirmed that she would be going with. He kissed her goodbye and began the walk back to his own dorm.

He felt content until his phone buzzed, prompting him to look at it. It was a photo message from an unknown number that made his blood run cold. There was a picture of him kissing Kira goodbye accompanied by two ominous words.

  _We know._


End file.
